happy birthday, dear rolf!

Posted: October 2, 2010 in Uncategorized

this morning i’m a little bit confused. i don’t know why. but it’s no depression. that’ good. i think i don’t know exactly what i want. no, i know what i want but i don’t find the buttom this morning. i think it was a very shit hard week for me. working, family and the worst, me.

yes, i’m a bit overwhelmed with myself. it was a week with so many new tasks on my way to a happier life. that’s ok, i think.

well, today i have birthday, the 43rd. tada! good that i must work today. better so. no relatives, no hypocritical concratulations and new parfumes.

it’s good for me to write this. now i feel better.

i listen the rain and the autumn wind and i think a lot about my father, who died exactly one year ago. ok, our relationship was crappy. but i missing him know he is dead. my mother too.

i think i should organize my thoughts a bit and  2 liter coffee inhale.

i kick myself ass. i’m the only human in my life where my ass is. so go on. take action.

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