fuck to winning!

Posted: October 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

Why you want to WIN all the time.

Life isn’t a zero-sum competition. It’s a game with some pretty cool runners-up prizes.

Forget competitive. Competition creates losers.

You baked some blueberry and courgette cupcakes that didn’t win any prizes at the cupcake fair? Who cares? Make your own rosette.

You scaled the Matterhorn but somebody younger, fitter and better-looking did it quicker than you? Get over yourself! You did it, dickwad!

You disagreed with some dude about something which was deadly serious at the time but now you can’t remember, for the life of you, what the hell it was about? Perhaps you’re still seething that he had a better argument, and a quicker retort and an arsenal of analogies to beat you down? LET IT BE!

Here’s how to WIN every time:

Stop trying to win.

Dude, your cappuccino frother totally sucks. You only got 16% market share. What a douche.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? That’s a triple win.”


“Are you going to let him get away with taking your parking space?”

Hell yeah! That parking space totally sucks.

If you’re a dedicated one-up-man-shipper, you’re going to spend the rest of your sorry time on earth caught up in the miserable game of comparison. You’ll either be trying to catch up with those ahead of you, or trampling on those below you.

“My daughter spoke her first words today.”

“Oh, mine was speaking in full sentences nine months ago.”


“We’re celebrating my parent’s fortieth wedding anniversary this year.”

“Ha! My parents have been together for fifty years“.


Remember when we were kids? Remember how we used to play for the sheer FUN of it? When did we start MEASURING everything? Get over yourself.

Quit winning. Winning is for losers.


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