Archive for the ‘diary’ Category

dear diary, which day is today?

Posted: October 28, 2010 in diary

good morning my little weblog, you are currently my only interlocutor. i’m only at work or in my bed. all my bones hurts and my finger are sore. it’s a hard style project which i do. 

all staff don’t speak with me, i’m only a stupid dishwasher. so i do the working time without speaking. whatever. i want to become a millionaire. the american dream. but the problem is, i’m living in germany. whether will this work here?

and otherwise? i feel mental better like yesterday. my setback is overcome. i’m a little bit in dark mood but i thing the reason is my bad body feeling through the to much working. i feel me little like a machine or still as a roboter. 2 days and my weekend will come.

see you, partner.



after 7 days of working i’m exhausted and a little bit mental down. i hope it’s not my illness but only from the work in the last week without enough sleep.

since two dasy i speak only a few words a day. i have nothing to say. it’s not good. i most change it otherwise i fall back in a depression phase.

but my life is a adventurer to me and i’m a soldier for my life and i never will giving up.

today it’s raining. a wonderful noise. i’m sitting in my kitchen and listen the wind and the rain. the morning is still dark, it’s 5 am now here in germany.

i drink my coffee and will think about my strategy for this day how i can control my mental resources. at the best.

dear diary, trying to get awake

Posted: October 26, 2010 in diary

with 2 liter coffee and 21 cigarettes. my bones feel like a apple pie. but i feel good, i think so.this morning is stressfuly.

my sugar has toothache, my son gets teeth and i get headache. pffft! after feeding my son i want to go in the city to boast with the pram and to do something like to buy a new book and so on. afterwards i have to work, yes, project from a dishwasher to become a millionaire is going on!

dear diary,

Posted: October 25, 2010 in diary

so, no i’m ready with tidying up. i want to cuddling with my 10 weeks old son phillip now. he is pretty like me. this is 100% my son, yes. smart, beautyful, slightly cracy, ok, dad is clinical insane.

whatever, i love him, my ther 4 kids too. but i see them rarely, i work too much. i hope i have free at saturday and sunday. then i spend time with the kids, the dog, the cats. oops, of course with my darling, almost forgotten.

phillip is just testing the volume of the diaper. see you.

dear diary,

Posted: October 25, 2010 in diary

i slept through! shit! max, the golden retriever, awake me.not because he likes me, because he had to pee.

without coffee outdoor, cruel!

for that my breakfast was delicious, fresh bread rolls with honey. yam yam.

and now:i want tidying up my flat. yeah! pffff…. and listen while techno music. bam bam bambam.


i have the day kicked in the butt!

Posted: October 24, 2010 in diary

closing time! thank god! i’m exhausted like a porno star after a 90 minutes film shoot but he had probably more fun.

this was the 5th day i had worked. that was the half.

9 hours per day washing up is a hard hard job. and i’m a little big sick. i have probably spoiled my stomach. yes, in a 4 stars hotel. fuck….

i want to write so much but i have no energy to do it. 

i still smoke 20 cigarettes and  then go to bed. i would snore so loud that my neighbors start to cry like a little child.

tonight i dream about a wonderf….zzZZZZ

good morning sunday!

Posted: October 24, 2010 in diary

it’s a hard project, from dishwasher to become a millionaire. after 6 days of work i have to do another 6 for my next free time.

every day 9 hours thousends of plates and pots. it’s heavy.

how i feel me?

good, no thoughts about my illness, no suicide thought. i feel mental good. but i must be careful. the work is stressful.

now it’s 6 am here in germany and my son is hungry and i have to feed him.