Archive for the ‘life’ Category

Oct 12 2010

No room left for doubt

Published by Ralph Marston at 10:39 am under Uncategorized

When a drinking cup is dirty, what do you do? You rinse it out with fresh water. You put so much water into the cup that it pushes out the dirt. You put so much fresh water in that there’s no room left for the contamination. You can do the same thing with your thoughts. You can put so many positive, empowering thoughts into your mind that there’s no room left for the negative, doubt-filled thoughts.

And then you build on those thoughts by putting them into action.

Whatever you’re seeking to accomplish or overcome, there’s always going to be some doubt in your mind as to whether or not you can do it. There’s always going to be some doubt until you actually step forward and begin to make it happen.

The first steps you take may seem small and insignificant. But they’re not. In fact, they’re vitally important. Because those are the steps that you use to being to build your positive momentum. Those first steps are the ones that start to erase your doubts.

From the very first effort, your actions are already replacing doubt and fear with courage and confidence. Just picking up the phone and making that first call is huge. Just sitting down at your computer and writing the first sentence is a major key to accomplishment, because it transforms you. It transforms you from worried and doubtful to enthusiastic and effective. And the longer you keep going, the stronger your momentum becomes. Before long, your doubts will be left far behind.

What may have seemed completely impossible will begin to feel more and more achievable.

And as you continue taking action you’ll be paving the way for bigger, more ambitious steps forward. In this way, your positive actions and confidence will feed on each other to create an ever-expanding forward momentum. Soon the doubts will be left far behind. As soon as you begin to take action, your doubts and fears will start to lose their power. Doubts can often seem overwhelming, yet your real and focused efforts will make those doubts less and less real, until they finally disappear completely.

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dear diary, i love mondays!

Posted: October 11, 2010 in diary, life

yes, i love mondays particulary on tuesdays.

i don’t know if it a good night was. i slept soundly. now i try to open my eyes with a coffee shower because i have to work today from 8 am till 5 pm.

a couple of months ago i have unwillingly gone to my work but now i enjoy my work as dishwasher because i enjoy all things in my life.

how can i enjoy all my doings in my life? well,  earlier i have to much thought about the past and the future, all the worries that happened or could happen. now i live in the present. yes, right now in this. 

what happened is happened. point! i learn from this things for my present time. the future? i have goals for the future, ok, but i can not see what will coming in my future. so why worry? there is anyway others than we think. and a important changing point in my thinking is that i don’t believe that things they happen are bad or good. they only happen. only how we think makes all good or bad.

the nature does only that must be. not more and not less.

i go now to my work with a smile.


Cut the unimportant commitments in your life.

Take an inventory of the commitments in your life. Here are some common ones:

  • Work – we have multiple commitments at our jobs. List them all.
  • Side work – some of us free-lance, or do odd jobs to take in money. More commitments.
  • Family – we may play a role as husband, wife, father, mother, son, daughter. These roles come with many commitments.
  • Kids – my kids have soccer, choir, Academic Challenge Bowl, National Junior Honor Society, basketball, spelling bee, and more. Each of their commitments is mine too.
  • Civic – we may volunteer for different organizations, or be a board member or officer on a non-profit organization.
  • Religious – many of us are very involved with our churches, or are part of a church organization. Or perhaps we are committed to going to service once a week.
  • Hobbies – perhaps you are a runner or a cyclist, or you build models, or are part of a secret underground comic book organization. These come with – surprise! – commitments.
  • Home – aside from regular family stuff, there’s the stuff you have to do at home.
  • Online – we may be a regular on a forum or mailing list or Google group. These are online communities that come with commitments too.

You might have other categories. List everything.

Now take a close look at each thing on the list, and consider: How does this give my life value? How important is it to me? Is it in line with my life priorities and values? How would it affect my life if I dropped out? Does this further my life goals?

These are tough questions, but I suggest seeing if you can eliminate just one thing — the thing that gives you the least return for your invested time and effort. The thing that’s least in line with your life values and priorities and goals. Cut it out, at least for a couple weeks, and see if you can get along without it. Revisit this list at that time and see if you can cut something else out. Edit mercilessly, keeping only those that really mean something to you.

Each time you cut a commitment, it may give you a feeling of guilt, because others want you to keep that commitment. But it’s also a huge relief, not having to do that commitment each day or week or month. It frees up a lot of your time, and while others may be disappointed, you have to keep what’s important to you in mind, not everyone else. If we committed to what everyone else wanted all the time, we would never have any time left for ourselves.

Take the time to edit your commitments, and your life will be greatly simplified. You will thank yourself for it.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.  If you’re alive, it isn’t.  ~Richard Bach

do you think about one thing: we all have only one life!

why do we all waste the time of our life only hurry through it? why do we put us under stress a lifelong  how we can buy the next car or how we can make career or whether we are in mode and so on.

i will tell you a little story.

after years with heavy depression because in my life is a lot shit happened and i’m very sensitive, i tried to kill myself but it have failed.

i was after this attempt for a few months in a hospital but they can’t help me to declutter my fellings and thoughts. so i had read a lot about my personality disorder.

i have tried many things but only one thing was the right way to cure myself:

be happy!

please don’t laugh, i’m serious.

i tell myself every day: “the best cure for unhappieness is happieness!”

it cost me months of training to achieve this goal but it works great!

my weapons:

  • speak gentle and quietly
  • smile
  • breathe
  • be good to everybody
  • be honestly, to me and to all human
  • unprejudiced
  • i’m the importants person in my life
  • don’t compareme  with others
  • nothing is bad or good, things happens
  • the opinion of others about me doesn’t interest me
  • start every day like a new life
  • saying more with less words
  • simplifying my life, stuff and goals
  • cut bad friends and all the time waster
  • being sometimes like a kid


To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.  ~Emily Dickinson


since a couple of days i have no depression anymore! for the first time since 20 years without a depression!

i’m glad to say i’m happy now! ok, i have to take action for the rest of my life but i know now it works!

i hope this little story about me can help you a bit. please feel free to write me your opinion.

Why You Should Learn By Doing

Posted: October 10, 2010 in life

Do you enjoy learning new things? I certainly do.

In particular, I enjoy about learning new ways to better myself and my relationships with others. When I first started on this quest I couldn’t get enough. I read about it all the time on blogs, online magazines and in books. There came a point where everything I read was just a slightly different version of the same thing. I was stuck.

I felt as though I had run out of things to read and ideas to try, yet I didn’t feel any better. I didn’t feel as though I was a better person or that my relationships with others had improved at all. There was something missing. It was the doing.

It wasn’t until I actually started applying what I had learned in the personal development realm to my own life that it started to make a difference. All the lessons, all the truths were suddenly having an impact. There was a huge difference in simply knowing it vs. actually doing it.

If you read all the books, blogs and articles on ice skating you would likely think it’s pretty easy, and it is … in theory. But strap

on some skates and step on the ice for the very first time and my bets are that you’d be sitting on the ice a whole lot more than you’d be gracefully gliding around on it. It boils down to the old saying that practice makes perfect.

Here are some of the visible benefits of learning by doing.

  1. You gain a better understanding of what it actually means to do the activity.
    Riding a bike isn’t that hard, if you were to read about the technique in a book or manual. When you hop on however, the subtleties of keeping your balance, steering and maintaining the proper speed become very apparent. These are things you couldn’t learn simply by reading and yet it could be argued that they are the most important things to know.

  • You’ll know if you actually like the activity or not.
    One of the first things I learned about in my quest to simplify and be more organized was the Getting Things Done (GTD) system by David Allen. This is a very popular system and when I was reading the book and reviews I was all for it. I was excited about how this was going to revolutionize the way I kept track of everything in my life. It wasn’t until I actually implemented this system that I realized it wasn’t for me. I know there are a lot of fans of GTD out there but for me it was over complicated and took too much time to initiate and maintain. I would never have thought this system wasn’t for me because I simply loved what I was reading.
  • You know what you can tweak.
    Just because I didn’t like the GTD system as a whole doesn’t mean there weren’t parts of it that I did like. I was able to pick and choose what aspects of the system I could seamlessly integrate with my life. Things like always having a notebook and pen on hand to capture to-do items as they came up, daily and weekly action items, and the next actionable item for any task. Most things aren’t all or nothing and by giving things a try you are better able to decide which aspects are a good fit for you and which aren’t.

  • You get a deeper understanding of the subject.
    When doing something, you are able to apply your unique set of skills, talents and experiences to the activity. As I mentioned in the bike riding example, there are a lot of subtle things you would miss if you simply read about riding a bike. By trying things out, modifying the activity and experimenting you learn first hand what works and what doesn’t. It’s this first hand experience that makes ideas and concepts stick.
  • Learning by doing promotes critical thinking.
    Critical thinking is an important life skill. Reading and taking other people’s word for things doesn’t add much richness to our own life experience and in fact much of what we read or are told is simply not true in certain circumstances. Doing things and experimenting allows you to question the status quo, discover new things, new methods but most importantly critical thinking increases your odds of not clinging to a false belief.
  • I don’t want to totally down play the role of theoretical knowledge when it comes to learning, it is certainly important. In fact, theoretical and practical knowledge are both extremely important to the learning process and too much time invested in either is not ideal.

    Take a bit of time and think about what you are currently learning. Then decide if you’ve been stuck in the theoretical learning camp for a bit too long. If you have been, stop reading about what you want to do and actually do what you want to do.